Here's to Her
by AwkwardHumanBeanThing
Summary: Natsu and Lucy were destined to be together; it was practically written in the stars. But that fact doesn't stop lonely hearts from longing after the unattainable, nor does it cease the thoughts of minds plagued with what could have been.


Cana loves Lucy.

Lucy loves Natsu.

Cana knows it.

(She's not stupid.)

And dammit, why doesn't he know it too?

She is sure that he loves Lucy. She sees the way he acts around her, the way he puffs out his chest and grins a bit broader and always, always clings onto her. He's just brighter around Lucy. Before she became a part of Fairy Tail's band of miscreants, Natsu had always been more to himself. Not in a completely shy manner, but he was only briefly around the guild on the rare intervals of rest between his quests. And even then, he wasn't as social. Sure, he'd still bash Gray's head in and announce his entrance with the clashing of the wooden doors into the walls, but he wouldn't dare to hold a conversation with many other guild members.

It's all different now though; it has been ever since Lucy came around.

Natsu's constantly around the guild and isn't hesitant to socialize with others. But even with that revelation, he still doesn't spend time with too many people.

Why?

Because he'd rather be around Lucy.

He clings to her like a lifeline that he refuses to let go of. If he's not annoying Lucy, he's standing nearby, wistfully staring at her. Letting her suffer not knowing that her love for him is in fact returned with equal, if not more intensity.

The whole guild has changed with Lucy around.

She was like a piece to the puzzle that no one ever knew was missing until she was already there. But now that she's here, she's completed everyone. It was as if her golden hair would capture the brilliance of the sun and amplify it to everyone everywhere, warming their cold hearts and melting away their defenses.

She lessens the weight on Master's frail shoulders by keeping the guild in line as best she can. No one would guess how difficult tasks have become for Fairy Tail's ever joking master, but from the shadows you can see through the masks that people finally retire once they feel they are alone. And being one of these shadow dwellers, Cana has seen how weary Master has grown. The guild was constantly facing debt and no one would seem to acknowledge how serious that fact was. But Lucy has returned a smile to his face. She keeps their comrades in check and significantly reduces the havoc that would have been brought otherwise.

She makes Erza feel like she has a family. Erza loved everyone in the guild, but Mavis knows that she was never very extroverted. Due to her personality and the way she acts, most of the bonds she formed were student-teacher, or put her in a position that would separate her from the rest. But to Erza, Lucy's her little sister, and through that she found herself acting the part of an older sibling. Lucy's someone for Erza protect and to keep happy, and in return she knows that Lucy would do the same for her. For once, Erza has found someone who will treat her as an equal and not someone on a pedestal.

Lucy gives Levy the friend she's always wanted. She's thankful for Jet and Droy, but they don't understand Levy like Lucy does. Lucy knows when Levy is depressed and how to fix it. Lucy knows all about the book Levy just read and exactly how to respond to Levy's barrage of questions. Lucy knows what it's like to be alone with nothing but ink sketched words to escape this hell we all live in.

So why can't Natsu just acknowledge how damn lucky he is?

Because if Cana were in his place, she would treat her right.

She wouldn't make Lucy feel alone. Cana would make Lucy feel like she was always a part of something. Cana would never just ditch her with nothing but a note to explain her absence. She would hold Lucy's hand just to feel what it was like to have her own callused hands to be intertwined with Lucy's smooth, slender ones. She wouldn't hesitate to kiss her, not for one moment. She wouldn't ever let Lucy feel she wasn't loved.

But she knows that Lucy wouldn't want that. Well, at least not from Cana.

She only wants Natsu.

And no matter who damn much Cana will tell her heart to suck it the fuck up and get over it, she just couldn't help it.

And it wasn't hard to imagine why.

Lucy was the light of Fairy Tail. She even helped to reunite a broken family that Cana thought would never be put back together. She figured out Cana's own facade in a minute, and didn't flinch when she saw the mess that was inside. Instead, she comforted her and took time to fix her. Even if it meant it would inconvenience herself, Lucy chose to help Cana, someone she barely knew.

And Lucy was beautiful. She was fucking gorgeous. With chocolate doe eyes and curves that contradict her innocent demeanor, she was like a model you'd see in a magazine. Except for she was better than that shit, because she was real. She wore makeup yes, but she wouldn't wear it to hide herself and how insecure she was. No, she wore it because she felt good in it and she knew it looked good. And damn did it look good.

Lucy was graceful. Cana supposed that it shouldn't have come as a surprise, given her upbringing, but Lucy still managed to fucking amaze Cana with her elegance. She would tackle complicated steps and sidestep the chaos that constantly surrounded her with ease (and that was quite the accomplishment seeing as Natsu was always near her). And the few times Cana saw Lucy dance, there were no words that would dignify how beautiful it was. She would move as if the music coursed through her veins, controlling her in a hypnotizing way while still matching the rhythm.

Lucy was perfect. Well, yes, she had flaws. But those flaws were what made her perfect. They showed that she wasn't some figment of Cana's imagination. She wasn't just some dream that came true. No, her flaws distinguished herself from the admittedly pretty girls who had no substance. It's not just that she had flaws either, it was that she owned them. She didn't brush them under the rug and try to keep them hidden. She showed every aspect of herself off and if others couldn't handle it, it's their fucking loss.

She was Lucy.

And that's exactly why Cana loved her.

But still, she'll be supportive. She'll clap loudly when Lucy walks through the guild eventually with her hand attached to Natsu's. When she'll inevitably get nervous about whether or not she deserves Natsu, Cana won't waste a second to explain all the reasons why they deserve to love one another.

She'll give it her all. Even when her heart is breaking in two, she'll smile because it's worth it if it means that Lucy's heart is feeling just a bit fuller. Cana will try to forget these stupid feelings she's harboring and focus on what's important. She'll dry her tears and grin a shit eating grin if Lucy should ever come to her to talk about her own love life.

She'll watch quietly as they partake in an adventure alone. She knows that she won't be a part of it. That's not true, she'll be there. Lucy would never allow herself to lose a friend. But Cana will only be there in the background. She won't be a part of the romance they share unless it is to cheer them on. Shell be there to clap and congratulate them and move the story along. But that shouldn't be so bad, right?

She'll keep to herself when he inevitably leaves her crying after some dumb argument. Cana knows it's not her place to get involved. Especially not when she is bound to slip up and spill her own feelings and make a damn mess out of things. It's much better to let Lucy suffer for a night than to let her suffer a lifetime knowing that she could never return Cana's feelings.

She'll not intervene when they reunite once more. It's their fairy tale after all, and Cana shouldn't be trying to be getting in the way. The choices are limited as to what part she shall play in their lives, but she'd rather be the supportive sidekick than the cunning villain.

And so she shall watch from afar and when she's lucky, real damn lucky, maybe she can chance a risqué touch or two during a conversation.

Maybe she can hold eye contact.

Maybe, just maybe, she can forget that Lucy and her were never meant to be and she can fantasize before Natsu swoops in to whisk Lucy away.

Cana knew that she could never love Lucy like Natsu does. Maybe she loves her just as much, maybe not, but she could never give her the same satisfaction as Natsu will.

So for Lucy's happiness, Cana will sacrifice her own.

Here's to her.

Xxx

Okay so although I love NaLu, I read this angsty story a really long time ago about how Cana loved Lucy and no one ever knew (I just tried looking for it but I couldn't find it) and I really liked it. So, I figured I'd make my own story with an unrequited love. Please review if you see anything screwy (I am writing this on notes on my phone so problems are bound to be made). Thanks for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day!

-AwkwardHumanBeanThing


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